Trapped in a Crowd: Living with Social Anxiety

 We Practice Conversations You'll Never Hear!

Hey oh wait, should I say ''hey''? Does that sound too casual?
''hi'' is better.
But ''hi'' sounds dry.
What if I just smile? Or wave? Or-
Nevermind. I'll just pretend I didn't see them.

Welcome to the daily inner monologue of someone with social anxiety....

We're the ones who replay ''hey'' in our heads like it was a TED Talk.
We reherse how to ask ''How have you been?''
We write and delete texts five times before sending ''okay''
We plan what to say, then say nothing and walk away  overthinking it anyway.
That's social anxiety- not loud, not dramatic. Just mentally exhausting....

🧠It's Not That We Don't Know What To Say-

We've already said it ten times in our heads.

Most of us with social anxiety aren't clueless about how conversations work.
In fact, we've already had the conversation- beginning to end- before we even say hi.
We predicted your reaction, planned our response, and braced for imaginary judgement.

By the time real moment comes?
We're mentally tired, anxious, and somehow convince we'll mess it up anyway...

😅 On the Outside: ''Chill.''

On the Inside: Chaos + Overanalysis 

We might look like we're ignoring you. Or zoning out. Our just quiet.

But in our heads, it's loud.

We're wondering:

• ''Was that smile weird?''
• ''Did I talk too much?''
• ''Did I talk too little?''
• ''Do they think I'm boring?''
• Why did I say that???''

It's a nonstop commentary- and we didn't ask for it, but here we are.

💅 And Then Comes: ''Just Be Confident!"

Thanks. We didn't think of that.

Truth is, we know no one is paying attention to us.
But our brain? It didn't get that memo.
It still panics before a call. Still replays yesterday's conversation like its evidence in court. Still makes us cancel plans because 
What if I say something dumb?

Confidence doesn't just appear. Especially when your brain treats social moments like survival mode.

💬The Conversations That Never Happened 

We meant to say something kind.
We meant to start the chat.
We meant to speak up, stand up, open up.

But the overthinking won.

So the words stayed in our heads.
Unsaid, unheard. But very real to us.

🧩If You Relate, You're Not Weird You're Wired Differently

If you're one of us- who rehearses everything and still leaves a conversation questioning everything - I see you.

You're not rude. You're not distant.
You're just dealing with an inner dialogue that talks a little too loud sometimes.

We practice conversations you'll never hear. So if we do open up even just a little know that it took a lot to get there.

🧠Final Thought:

''Social anxiety isn't about not knowing what to say it's about not trusting yourself enough to say it out loud."

So the next time someone seems distant, awkward, or too quiet....

Maybe they're not ignoring you.

Maybe they already said it - just not out loud.

There was a time I was painfully socially awkward, barely spoke, had few friends, and lived mostly in silence. Not because I didn't want to talk...but because I was scared too.

But growing up taught me something important: it's not the people, it's the fear within us.

The moment you choose to speak even if it's messy, even if it's small that's where the shift begins.

Funny thing is... now everyone else feels awkward around me.😅 

If someone like me who once barely spoke can start talking too much.. you can absolutely find your voice too.

It's not as hard as it feels. You just need to see the change within first.

Khushi~